Wedding Wisdom
When to register, how many places, what to put on it, and how to share it — so building your registry feels fun instead of overwhelming.
Your registry is one of the most fun parts of planning — and one of the most second-guessed.
Couples ask me about it all the time: When does it need to be ready? How many things should we add? Is it tacky to ask for cash? Here’s how I walk my couples through it.
Earlier than you’d think. Here’s the rough timeline.
It doesn’t need to be finished, but it should be up and working by the time save-the-dates are in the mail. That’s when guests start visiting your wedding website, and some of them love to shop early.
If you’re having a shower, make sure there’s plenty on your registry before those invites go out. Shower guests are usually the first big wave of shoppers, so send your hosts the link.
It’s completely fine to add to it over time. Check back a few weeks before the wedding: if the smaller items are all gone, add a few more so late shoppers still have options.
Two or three is the sweet spot. One is perfectly fine! More than three starts to get confusing for guests (and for you, keeping track of what came from where).
One store you already love for everyday basics — somewhere you’d actually shop anyway.One fun or specialty spot that fits the two of you: a local shop, outdoor gear, a cooking store.Or a universal registry that pulls items from any store into one list, so guests only need one link.Before you pick, check each store’s return and exchange policy, and whether they offer a completion discount after your wedding — many do.The biggest mistake I see is a registry that’s too small, or all in one price range. Your guests have very different budgets, and you want every one of them to find something they feel good about.
More items than guests. Roughly two gifts per guest is a nice target, so the list doesn’t get picked over.Spread it across price points: plenty under $50, a good chunk between $50 and $150, and a handful of bigger-ticket items.Turn on group gifting for the big things, so a few friends can go in together on the mixer or the dining set.Register for your real life, not the china you think you’re supposed to want. If you won’t use it, leave it off.Yes. Truly. Here are the most common ways couples do it.
Guests love being able to gift a dinner out or an excursion on your trip. Break it into specific, fun items rather than one big number — it feels so much more personal to give.
If you already live together and have the toaster, a fund toward a home or another big goal is completely reasonable. A short, warm note about what it’s for goes a long way.
Some guests love picking out a physical gift; others would much rather give cash. Having a little of each makes everyone comfortable.
This is the best home for your registry links, and it’s where guests will look. DMV couples: your wedding website in the client portal has a Registry section — just paste your links there.
Since a shower is about gifts, it’s fine (and really helpful) for your hosts to include registry info on the invitation.
Traditional etiquette keeps registry details off the wedding invitation. Put your website on the details card instead, and let the website do the rest.
Your parents and wedding party will absolutely be asked where you’re registered, so make sure they know where to point people.
Keep a simple list as gifts come in: who sent what, and whether you’ve written the note. It sounds tedious, but you’ll be so glad you did when it’s time to sit down and write.
Shower gifts: within about two weeks of the shower.Gifts that arrive before the wedding: as they come in, or within a few weeks.Wedding gifts: within about three months of the wedding.Mention the actual gift (or what you’re putting the money toward). It’s the difference between a form letter and a real thank-you.Registries are personal, and there’s no one right way to do it. If you’re not sure what’s reasonable, or how to word a fund so it feels right for you, reach out to your planner/coordinator (that’s me!) and we’ll figure it out together.
Ask Maddie